2.THE SEARCH FOR KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING.

 There is a certain moment in everyone's life where they would find themselves stuck in a particular situation in which they can not find who and what they are; while wondering what life is all about and also trying to get their way through; just being in the thickness of things so to speak.

Whether be it in a domestic or romantic affair, an academic situation; or even in the social arena where one would struggle to find best friends at times. Friends who could help to accommodate their ideological principles while getting the best out of life they have been looking after.

As tricky as this kind of situation might be ;it is also difficult and almost impossible for most of the people to make proper and well-informed decisions that are void of regrets and future remorse. Therefore, it is not surprising that in most cases some people would find themselves wishing they had been given natural powers to control time and the progression of life; while all the good is channelled into their lives and the worst passed on to someone else. It is just our dreams as physical beings.

However, in the face of all these realities, certain people would not stop at anything trying to make their presence felt; perhaps in their attempt to divert everyone else's beliefs into their ideological principles, while also behaving as if they had lived beyond anyone else and have therefore seen what is beyond everybody. Sometimes they could even speak great lies in forked tongues to have their prospective target won over; and when one of their lie and tactic is exposed, they would then fabricate yet another pretext, while also making sure they still have their wicked interests secured successfully.

Given the magical powers of life; sometimes one would wonder what is happening, especially when some people are of a certain strange mentality, or even when realizing how impossible it is to control the direction and dynamics of destiny. 

But then; it takes deep understanding and knowledge to see how this life goes; and then afterward acquire the capacity to distinguish between what is right and wrong or who is good or bad; failing which one won't be capable of knowing and understanding where their life is going.

Therefore, in the absence of knowledge and understanding one can ignorantly live with their enemy who would disguise themselves either as a true lover or helper; or even obey orders from someone disguised as a helper and savior whereas being the actual destroyer and enemy to goodness. 

Life is deep; really so deep that one can pass away having not reached what they had desired or searched for the rest of their lives, or not knowing and understanding what is right or wrong. It is not amazing then that the search for knowledge and understanding takes a central part of responsible life.

Or is there any responsible human being that can just wake up every day without any knowledge of what they are actually looking for in life? Or look at their surroundings without any desire to understand what is taking place or to search for knowledge on how to deal with matters at hand?

Presumably, an irresponsible character might choose a lifestyle of that extent, 

Some time in my life I found myself stuck in that kind of situation; not knowing who to trust or not; nor who to believe; for even before going too far in life I came to realize that my journey to search for knowledge and understanding about life had just begun; but I could not understand that immediately given my mental immaturity and emptiness of experience. Well; I can just choose to call it that but in retrospect life was not that simple; at least speaking from my own perspective without having to try becoming a representative of anyone in terms of my friends back then; unless my family members together with whom I have been struggling throughout; not that life is simple by now, at least a bit different from what it used to be.

I really wondered what was going on and who could be there to make that provisional knowledge and understanding a reality. I really wondered a lot!

It was in the dying and final years of the historical and legendary apartheid rule here in South Africa; the situation was quite emotional and volatile all over.

With the state of emergency having been declared by the ruling regime; and relentless curfews imposed alongside the heavy military presence patrolling almost all over; some of our brothers and sisters lived in fear for their lives given their involvement in political activities and uprising movements in the form of the then UDF and BC among others; that aimed their missions at the toppling of the regime and mobilization of the masses of the people; life seemed so unfair and evil.

Soldiers would conduct a house to house search as part of their crackdown operations in an attempt to quell the looming emergency and threat; therefore as young school goers we would at times observe helplessly as some of disobedient and seemingly rebellious members of community are clapped seriously by some stern and fearful military personnel. With some so-called rebels having spent their night either attending political vigils or mobilization, or even out in the mountains to escape and avoid arrest or possible torture. The orders from above had to be obeyed.

Or what could have been done then beside that?

But then; political uprising and military oppression aside; no matter how brutal such a treatment of the people by the ruling regime might have been in most cases; given the reluctance of either political party to properly and humanely cooperate with the other; and the fact that no racial identity was willing or prepared to look at another in a friendly and brotherly manner; rather than adverse and wicked manner that served as an underlying factor and source of the rebellion and brutal oppression.

Still, there was something scary taking place in our surroundings that was as equally evil; wicked and inhumane as the brutal activities of the regime itself; or even worse than that; at least from my standing point by now and in retrospect.

The scary reality itself had proven to be the most wicked and evil experience to have come across in life.

A new problem had just landed in our community and the surrounding villages that looked quite uncivilized in terms of western standards; though better and advanced in terms of traditional African standards; at least in the eyes of some local citizens. 

Or how can it feel like for one who had been living in a mud and thatch structure for some time in their lives; and then afterward move into a cement structure; even if it can mean a single room with window glasses to afford them a view of the exteriors from inside?

Dusty and quiet as they were such villages; and immersed in a series of rolling hills and mountains; they had a certain deep secret hidden in their wild and shrub land, even though looking deceptive enough to fool any unsuspecting visitor and make them think they had arrived in a place of the humble and innocent souls. In reality; to some people the picture and thought of such dusty villages resembled terror and fear no matter what age.    

This is the kind of terror and fear which I myself as a youngster and scholar back then never thought it is having the capacity, or power to thrust me into a lifetime journey searching for knowledge and understanding; I was getting haunted of this novelty and then left with unanswered questions and sleepless nights; I just could not find out what have happened before that made life to end up in that way, or what needed to happen to help turn life around for the better; really tough let me choose to say so.

Naturally, everybody knows how painful it is to lack understanding and knowledge about a particular problem; because in their absence one can not succeed in dealing with that problem properly; let alone stumble and digress; I found myself right in the depths of such a situation and tempted by destiny to work things out on my own without having to cast a blame on someone else; unless the enemy or the perpetrator.

WELCOME!!